Take the Initiative in Building Friendships, Leaders Always Do
It’s easy and natural for us to tell ourselves, “Let him make the first move.” “Let them call us.” “Let her speak first.”
It’s easy, too, virtually to ignore other people.
Yes, it’s easy and natural, but it isn’t right-thinking toward people. If you follow the rule of letting the other person build the foundation for friendship, you may not have many friends.
Actually, it’s a mark of real leadership to take the lead in getting to know people. Next time you are in a large group, observe something very significant: the most important person present is the one person most active in introducing himself.
It’s always a big person who walks up to you, offers his hand, and says, “Hello, I’m Jack R.” Digest this observation for a moment, and you’ll discover the reason the fellow is important is that he works at building friendships.
Think right toward people. As a friend of mine expresses it, “I may not be very important to him, but he’s important to me. That’s why I’ve got to get to know him.”
Here are six ways to win friends by exercising just a little initiative:
1- Introduce yourself to others at every possible opportunity — at parties, meetings, on airplanes, at work, everywhere.
2- Be sure the other person gets your name straight.
3- Be sure you can pronounce the other person’s name the way he pronounces it.
4- Write down the other person’s name, and be mighty sure you have it spelled correctly; people have a fetish about the correct spelling of their own names! If possible, get his address and phone number, also.
5- Drop a personal note or make a phone call to the new friends you feel want to know better. This is an important point. Most successful people follow through on new friends with a letter or phone call.
6- And last but not least, say pleasant things to strangers. It warms you up and gets you ready for the task ahead.
Putting these six rules to work is really thinking about people. To be sure, it is not the way the average person thinks. Mr. “Average” never takes the initiative in making introductions. He waits for the other person to introduce himself first.
Take the initiative. Be like the successful. Go out of your way to meet people. And don’t be timid. Don’t be afraid to be unusual. Find out who the other person is, and be sure he knows who you are.
